In my view one of the most destructive and systemically infective attitudes that exists in the world today is that of the lack of taking personal responsibility for one’s thoughts, emotions and actions.
As a lawyer of over 30 years experience it has never failed to amaze me how so many people are prepared to create and fuel an argument at whatever cost just over a matter of principle or to avoid taking any responsibility for their part in the creation of a dispute. Regardless of the justness of any cause or perspective there will always be two sides to every circumstance – thats just the way it is. We live in a dual universe.
We can either live above the line as victors in control of our own destinies or we can employ the blame game and live below the line as victims.
When we live above the line we empower ourselves through taking ownership, being accountable and accepting personal responsibility (OAR) for ourselves. When we slide below the line we dis-empower ourselves through apportioning blame, making excuses and denying (BED) our part in what has happened.
As victims we give away our power to other people and things. Others make our choices for us.
As victors we have the power to choose for ourselves.
Being a victor does not mean that bad stuff won’t ever happen to us however we do always have a choice about how we respond to that stuff.
Many people continue to wear the badge of victim-hood long after the event/experience that has affected them occurred. In doing that those people have identified with what has happened and have locked themselves into a self-perpetuating cycle of re-experiencing that event which only serves to make their victim identity stronger.
It is not about discounting what may have happened. It is more about acknowledging it and learning from it and seeing what we can do to make changes in ourselves and society to ensure that it won’t happen to ourselves and others again.
What do you choose to do – grab the OARS in your life-boat and power yourself forward or remain in BED and feel powerless and miserable? The choice is yours!
3 responses to “The Blame Game”