This was the title of an inspiring movie starring Will Smith which recounted the true life story of a young man (Chris Gardener) and his son’s struggle to find success and happiness. The story ended on high note with the man achieving his goal of becoming a successful and well paid stock broker.
This story is an affirmation of the notions enshrined in the American Constitution which include the “freedom to pursue happiness”.
“If you are in pursuit of happiness one thing is certain: you are not going to get it. Happiness is always a by-product. It is not the product of direct pursuit” – Osho.
I think this means that happiness is not something that can be pursued. It is something that just happens-on-in when we are being our selves.
I am certain though this was not the end of the Chris Gardener story and that any happy-ness he experienced would have been short lived not because I’m a doom and gloom merchant but just because that is how life is.
We float between the dualities of happiness, unhappiness, pleasure and pain because we are always looking to feel complete through identification with our ‘unreal’ selves. We are already that which we search for. We move away from our essence when we align ourselves with fabricated identities and in so doing create unhappiness for our unreal ‘selves’.
Freud after years of research concluded that “happiness is a fiction”.
Yet only human beings seem to have the capacity to be “unhappy”. The reason for this lies I believe lies with our unique ability to be conscious. A dog or cat appears contented just being itself in the moment even though feeling pleasure and pain as all living creatures do.
Yet through consciousness we human beings have a choice as to whether we are contented just with what is here and now or whether we prefer to be dis-contented now in the hope that contentment will arrive at some later date. With such a choice comes self-response-ability.
As a consequence of past choices to be unhappy we have become distracted by a perceived need to fill the gap of what we believe is missing through religion, ideologies, consumer gratification, sex, pharmaceutical drugs, alcohol, tobacco etc…..These distractions do not bring us happiness only small doses of pleasure and eventually pain.
A person who has chosen to be response-able and chooses to just “enjoy the moment” does not need these external justifications or pleasure fixes.
Happiness arises consequently when we have chosen to be authentic and enjoy whatever we may be doing in any moment.
“Happiness” just happens on in when we are not expecting it! It is an out of mind experience. Consequently you will find those people who engage in intellectual pursuits are often the most miserable.
We have unfortunately become pre-occupied with and seduced by the unnatural allure of:
- money
- status
- power
None of these things will bring long-term happiness. They may well bring us temporary pleasure however after the short term fix has worn off that empy feeling returns stronger than before.
External gratification is no substitute for internal authentication.
It takes courage to move towards embracing the things that can make you happy and contented instead of continuing the pattern of poor choices and doing what is expected of you by others.
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